How the story ends?

I dunno..
I dunno because my life isn't just a story, with a lot of trouble and a happy end.
No, I can't tell you what will happen in the future, because nobody can affect what will be.

But first I'll tell you what was going on the last time:
Sam and I went to Finsbury Park and took Roof with us, it was a wonderful and very funny day.
It was a good feeling, to show the whole world, my new family and that Sam and I are proud parents.
Later we had the first time sex again, after Roof was born.
First it was a bit unaccustomed, because the last time was a long time ago, but then it was beautiful and I felt safe and it was a wonderful feeling to be so close to Sam.
Then I wanted, that he told me what he think about the whole situation and how he feels, but Sam just said he thinks it's a bit soon..
I don't know how I should understand it and, hmm, I think we are together again:)
Suddenly, my mum opened the door, started to scream and for me and Sam it was very embarassing, that MY MUM discovered, that we had sex!
After a long discussion with my parents, that it was wrong to sleep together(but we had a lot of times sex together, otherwise I wouldn't have get pregnant ), we left the living-room..

I don't understand why my mum had done such a stress, I mean it's normal, that parents, when they have a baby together have sex, too.
But maybe they are too old to understand something like that.
____________________________________________________

When you would asked Sam about his life in the moment I think he would tell something like that:
-He is very very happy with his little sister Emily and cares about her very good.
She was born in the same hospital like Roof, but in the next room.
-Sam gets along with Roof fantastic, they do a lot together.
-at College everybody understands him and accepts his problems.
And he likes going everyday and he writes good marks.

I could say that Sam's and my life is in the moment really okay and that nobody of us,
regret keeping the baby.
Maybe one day, we won't be a couple any more, but I'm sure we will never loose our contact and he will be forever a great dad for Roof
Nobody can take away our memories and what we both have created together.

And for you, enjoy your teenage life and do everything you like too.
Live your life and regret nothing.
I wish you good luck!

Alicia xxx


My little Son and me:)


P.S.:
Does Sam talks with a poster??
I often saw this skater picture, but he never wanted to tell me what's the reason that he has it.
And for a few days, I heard how he had spoken with somebody, but no person was in the room.
I hope he isn't totally crazy;)

(chapter 19)



In chapter 20, Sam got whizzed into the future for the last time.
He dreamed, that he has a new girlfriend, her name is Alex and Alicia a new boyfriend, calls Carl. The four went into a restaurant and everybody looks happy and they laughed a lot together.

A missunderstanding ruined the day.

chapter 18
When I was in the bathroom, I heard a voice and I recognitioned quickly that it was Sam's voice..
He asked whether he could enter, because he had to talk with me.
When I came out, Sam said that we could also talk in the bathroom and I understood it like he wants to have a look at me.That made him apparently angry and he told me that he had better things to do than looking at me.
Yes, that's what he said: he has better things to do than looking at me!
What kind of boyfriend says something like that?
I know what it meant:
Sam has a new girlfriend!
He sleeps with other girls!
That was too much for me!
What an idiot!
I shouted at him and yelled that he should go away.
I didn't want to see him again.
Yes, if he wanted to leave me, he should!
But without Roof! And I won't allowed him to be with him again.
Because of the noise, my mum went upstairs to have a look what was going on with us.
She said, we could talk about everything and that we have to calm down first before we make decisions for our future.
After a while, Sam got the chance to explain what had happened and he used it.
He told us everything, that he had found an article in the internet about how many fathers loose the contact with their children and that he never want to loose Roof.
So, he wanted to visit me and Roof. And it was just a missunderstanding that he had slept with other girls.
He wants nobody else but me and Roof.
Then, we left the living-room and went to my room to look after Roof.
Our little baby was sleeping quietly and looked very cute and peaceful.
I looked at Sam and he looked proud and glad and after a conflict, it's nice to see such a happy father!

move in - move out

chapter 17

I don't know, if I told you about the "father and son day" of Sam and his father Dave some days ago.
Dave, Sam and Roof went into a restaurant one afternoon and talked for a while..
A few days later, Sam had a cold and he suggested not to sleep in my room, because then Roof and I couldn't sleep anymore.
But instead of sleeping in Rich's room, he went back to his own home.
Maybe, he had just searched for an excuse to move out, because Sam was a bit unhappy from the first day on when he moved into my room.
Let's see, what will happen in the next time and if he will come back when he's not any longer ill.
I'm going to tell you about Sam's decision;)

He doesn't trust me!

chapter 16

What a sucker.What a sucker.What a sucker!
Arrgh, JASON BLOODY GERSON!

Oh my god, you can't imagine what was going on today..
When Sam left college, he went to our house and he was in a bad mood.
Yes, he told me that he had a fight and the reason was that my ex boyfriend Jason bloody Gerson affirmed that Roof wasn't Sam's son, but Jason's.
And the worst was: Sam believes that!
Okay, he had believed it.
But I don't understand how Sam could believe such a rubbish.
In college, Jason meant that it's his baby and that I had just lied to Sam.
I started crying and told him the facts.Sam and I were now one year together and Roof is three weeks old, so then I had to sleep with Jason, although I was going out with Sam.
What an idiot? How could Sam believes this stupid guy and not his own girlfriend??
I was really, really angry and then I understood, Sam would be happy if he's not the father of Sam.When I wouldn't become pregnant after sleeping with him but with Jason.Then he would still have his normal and easy life without any responsibility.
I shouted to Sam and told him that it's not just his life, which is fucked up and that I have a lot of problems, too.
He has still a half chance and can still visit college.
But I have no chance..
Sam kept silent for a long time, then he excused and hugged me.
He told me, that he's very, very proud of being a father and having a son like Roof.
We kissed and I was glad, that we talked it over.

What a complicated and hard day..I will go out for a blow and good bye:)

everyday life..

chapter 15

Roof is already three weeks old and slowly the everyday life starts.
Every night, Roof cries and I have to care about him, change his nappy, feed him..
But that`s what a mother has to do.
What I expected from being a mother?
I dunno..
Sometimes Sam stands up and looks after our son, but not often..Sam doesn't like standing up in the night and change dirty nappies.
But when finally Sam and I lie in the bed, he told me, that he loves me:)

My own little family.

chapter 15

Yes, the day came!
My boyfriend Sam moved into our house and now he lives in my room and we are together all the time. It's wonderful, but I really don't know how it's with Sam.
Does he find everything as awesome as I do?
Does he miss his family?
But he can visit them whenever he wants to.
I hope he enjoys staying with me and Roof together:)
You can't imagine how wonderful it is to have your own little family, just Sam, Roof and I!
Awesome:)

xxx

Sam Jones.

I describe my partner Sam Jones.
He's a very good-looking, slim boy with dark hair and he's got a crew-cut.
Besides this, he wears a orange cap and a blue t-shirt.